So Tonight That I Might See
by Vesperum
Summary: I shake my head sadly. His face falters, and I’m feeling like I’ve told him that Santa doesn’t exist. 10/Rose, Post-Doomsday.
1. Part I, Skating On Thin Ice

So, after listening to the Doctor Who OST (and falling in love with it), I decided I should try and write my own DW story. I think it turned out quite well, but that's for you to decide. It should be around 6 chapters long. POV's are easy to figure out. Post-Doomsday, Rose in the parallel world. (Or Pete's World. I like that name xD)

It's 10/Rose, by the way.

Disclaimer: Don't own Doctor Who. Wish I did, though.

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Part **I**

_Skating On Thin Ice_

* * *

"Look Mum! Look!"

His voice is impatient, eager for me to look.

I glance up, and when I see him, I'm not entirely sure whether I'm going to laugh or cry.

His tousled brown hair; his deep brown eyes full of excitement and curiosity; his maniac smile; his _everything_. He's a perfect replica of his father, even more so with the screwdriver in his hand, courtesy of the tool-box Mickey gave him last Christmas.

He must have noticed the look on my face, for suddenly the screwdriver disappears, and his hand is flattening that mop of chocolate-brown hair.

"What is it?" I ask.

He brightens up immediately, that maniac smile spreading across his face, far too infectious, again, too much like his father.

"I was thinking…"

Thinking. Always thinking, he is. He talks to Mickey, Mum, Pete, everyone who isn't me about his theories that we might be able to get back to where _he _is. He's never really breached the subject with me, for some unknown reason. I've gotten over crying.

"What 'bout?"

He bites his lip, wording out the sentence in his mind before answering.

"'Bout Dad."

I wait, silently egging him to tell me more.

"'Cause he's a Time Lord an' all…in this world, this _universe_, wouldn't there be a Doctor who goes round saving these people? Wouldn't there be an alter-you travelling with him, making sure he always comes back to London?"

I sigh. I've gone over this with Pete a million times before. Torchwood exists here, but nothing shows up. Even if he looked like the Doctor, it just wouldn't be the same. If he could find a rip, or whatever it's called in the universe…

He's looking up at me, expectantly, waiting for me to answer.

I shake my head sadly. "I don't know…if he exists, he would've shown up by now."

His face falters, and I'm feeling like I've told him that Santa doesn't exist. I hate to do this, but it's easier not to beat around the bush with him.

He crawls off my lap, and walks out of the room, screwdriver in hand.

* * *


	2. Part II, Hope's Sake

I'm feeling nice. You have 2 chapters. Listening to Doomsday gives me inspiration, surprisingly. It's such a sad song. Oh well.

Disclaimer: Don't own Doctor Who. If I could, I wouldn't be writing this right now. I'd be off, having adventures in the TARDIS.

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Part **II**

_Hope's Sake_

* * *

"Look Mum! Look!"

I have a sense of Déjà Vu, but I shrug it off. He's practically collided into me, babbling off like the idiot that's his father.

"Telepathy, Mum! I can do telepathy! Remember how he took you to that beach? It was telepathic projection! I can do it! Mum, I've reached him! We can talk to him! There are these gaping holes in the universe on our side, but not on his, because he sealed them up! We can reach him, but he can't reach us! It's one way! We can get through! We can talk to him! Mum!"

His face is shining with happiness, hope etched all over his features.

"He's not letting me in, though…" his face falls, thought clouding it for a second. "But then I remembered! He doesn't know me! I can't exactly introduce myself to him like that. But he'd remember you, wouldn't he?"

I nod in response. I'm not going to get my hopes up high, for both of our sakes.

"Sit here" he instructs me. I do as he says, and he places his cold fingertips on my temples.

* * *


	3. Part III, Talking Through Walls

This story's actually going to be longer than I had originally intended. Either one or two chapters long than what I had planned. No matter. Thanks to Colour Me Stunned, Kitty Bridgeta, and BlackSparrow106 for your reviews. They really made my day.

And the Block is my creation. I'm pretty sure it doesn't exist.

This chapter is dedicated to BlackSparrow for being my first reviewer of this story. Free cookies to you!

Disclaimer: I wish I could believe that I did.

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Part **III**

_Talking Through Walls_

* * *

The kid's been bothering me for about a week. I wonder if it's me in the future, with something drastically gone wrong, so now I look like a 5-year-old boy, human years. He's got the ability to probe at my mind, but only when I'm asleep. He'll get stronger though, as he becomes more in-tune with it, and that's what I'm worried about.

I've never really had to put up a Block in my sleep, but now I might have to. I'm more vulnerable in my sleep, than when I'm awake. It's easy enough to block him during the day, leaving him at the back of my mind, my Block doing all the work, but sometimes he's annoying me so much, I end up 50 years into the future than where I want to be. At least he hasn't become aware that you can talk. Then I might have to start putting a permanent Block around myself. Damn.

I tried to locate where he was sending his signal from yesterday; I ended up at Powell Estate. He seemed to be happier when I reached where Rose used to live, but I turned away. There's no way I'm going back in that house, regardless of where that kid is hiding.

As soon as I had turned around, he broke the connection off.

I tried to re-establish it with him, but I came face-to-face with a Block that was as solid as steel.

I'm starting to have second thoughts about whether it's me. I certainly wasn't that in-tune with my telepathic powers when I looked that young. Still, he hasn't bothered me since, but I'm not sure whether that is a good thing, or a bad thing.

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	4. Part IV, Ripples Of Silk

So. This story has officially 7 chapters. Now I get to put you through torture while you wait for updates xD

Oh yes. To all the people who have reviewed so far- I love you. Every time I read a review for this story, I start to hyperventilate. You guys make me so happy :D

Disclaimer: No. BBC owns it.

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Part** IV**

_Ripples Of Silk_

* * *

Everything's dark here. John told me it was his Block. It's been 2 weeks since he last contacted the Doctor, so he's hoping the Doctor's Block has weakened, because of no-one beating upon it, or even better, it's gone completely.

It's freakish. Nothing's living here, being here, _existing_ here, apart from me. John's just being the bridge between the Doctor's mind and mine.

"You can talk, you know," John says. I nod once, and call the Doctor's name.

No response.

In this blackness of nothing, I see a darker black then what I'm surrounded by. I walk up to it, examining, and prod it with my finger.

"That's his Block."

I nod again, and run my hand over the Doctor's Block. It's cold, and smooth. No trace of scratching, tearing, or damage of any kind.

My hand is numb, but I leave it there anyway.

"Doctor?"

His Block is suddenly warm, ripples of heat falling over my hand.

Then nothing. Just me, and the Doctor's Block.

I call his name again, louder, stronger.

His Block ripples again, longer this time, its heat flowing over my hand like silk.

And again, coldness against my skin.

"Next time, pull away from the ripples. He's knows there's someone there, but not me. His guard won't be as strong." John's voice seems to be more distant this time. I nod again, and call the Doctor's name once more.

The heat comes, the ripples cover my hand, and I rip my hand from their grasp. John voices his satisfaction, and suddenly, the Doctor's Block is gone.

* * *


	5. Part V, Theories Of Nothing

I'm feeling nice, (and me being in a good mood helps too) so you get another chapter.

And I'd like to address a few points that some people have got confused by. Don't really pay attention to the third or fourth series, after Doomsday, just because this story would have gaping holes in it, and I don't like having gaping holes in my stories. I'm sure other people don't, either ;D So lets all pretend that all the post-Rose companions don't exist. Or if you really wanted to keep it in line with the actual plot, this story happens in that miniscule bit between The Runaway Bride, and Smith and Jones. Which actually might not be so miniscule, when you think about it. Oh well.

And if you already haven't noticed: The kid belongs to Rose. Because I'm sure the Doctor and Jackie hadn't been getting up to any hanky-panky in the series ;D (Have they? That would be so _weird _oO)

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Part**V**

_Theories Of Nothing_

* * *

He hasn't contacted me for two weeks. I've tried to re-establish the connection with him, but to no avail. I'd just assumed he'd given up, giving the fact that I haven't heard from him since.

But why did he lead me to Powell Estate? It's been bugging me ever since the kid led me there, and I just can't figure out how he has a connection to Rose, Jackie even.

I'm obsessing over it, really. Not good. Bad. Infinitely bad. Makes me get off track. Even now, see? I'm obsessing over nothing, to be honest. He doesn't exist. Never has, never will. Period.

I've gone to every corner of the universe, to take my mind off the brat. Doesn't work. I'm fed up with myself. The TARDIS is fed up with me too; I'm always five or six years off from where I want to actually be. I'm surprised she still does the dishes for me.

Sometimes, I end up in the middle of some petty argument, and I have to sort it out. At least it takes my mind off freakish-stalker-I'm-telepathic-guy. Bloody annoying at times. And disconcerting too, how I can't get back to him. I've been running all the possibilities through my head, and still, I can't come up with anything.

I suppose I should go and clean up the library. Rassilon knows it needs it.

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	6. Part VI, Symmetry

* * *

Part**VI**

_Symmetry_

* * *

At first there's nothing after the Doctor's Block disappeared. There's no colour, no light, no shadow, just me, in this barren desert of nothingness.

And then Black and White fill the room. It's divided perfectly; I don't know how the knowledge got into my head, but I know that the two hues balance. Perfect symmetry of the other.

I'm standing in the shadows, white light beckoning me forward. It's infectious- I feel compelled to go to the other side, but a clear, solid barrier stops me.

I run my hand over its surface. Glass, maybe?

It's cold, but not so much to remove my hand from it. It feels like glass, but I know it's not. Liquid, perhaps, but entirely. Exactly what it is, and exactly what it's not. Opposites together as one, being the same, but contradicting at the same time.

It's cracking. John's doing, no doubt. Breaking down the barrier between the Doctor's mind and mine, creating a platform on which we can both communicate.

And suddenly, the barrier is gone, shattering into tiny shards of crystal; falling to the ground and staying there, glittering in the light of the white dimension.

I hear a gasp, and I look up. My eyes follow the shadow that falls on the grey platform between us. And standing out like a sore thumb in the midst of his white mind, is the Doctor.

* * *


	7. Part VII, So Tonight That I Might See

* * *

Part**VII**

_So Tonight That I Might See_

* * *

I honestly don't know how long we stand there, looking at each other before we both break into a run, meeting dead centre of the grey platform between her mind and mine.

My logic is telling me this is a dream, hallucination, something _rational_, and that it's just not real. My gut is telling me it is. I'm torn between the two options, but then Rose is sobbing into my shoulder, and I can't think on the matter any longer.

We stay like that for a while, relishing in the miracle of seeing each other, touching, tasting, simply being with the other. It's a wonderful feeling, and soon she's not the only one crying.

"How much time do we have?" I find myself asking.

"Forever," she answers, laughing a little.

"Really?"

"Yeah."

Silence dominates the conversation then, but I'm just content having her in my arms. Her breathing has returned to its normal pace- far better than irrational spasms of the lungs.

"Doctor…"

"Yeah?"

"On the beach…before the…connection cut off, what were you going to say?"

I pause. This was coming. Inevitable. Humans have such an insatiable curiosity, and it's one of the most annoying traits about them. But I love them for it too. Contradiction in itself, really.

"Do I really need to repeat myself?"

Rose considers this for a moment.

"Not really," she says smiling "but there is going to be a time when you will have to say it, y'know?"

Bugger. She's caught on. She often does, too. Unfortunately this is one of those times where I _don't_ need her to catch on. So I do what a Time Lord would do in this situation. I pout.

She pouts back.

I stick my tongue out at her.

She does the same.

I sigh and drop to the ground. She follows, though thankfully without the sigh.

"So…" I start, gesturing around the dimension casually. "When did you learn to be telepathic?"

She giggles. How I've missed that sound. "S'not me," she says, ghost of her smile still on her face. "It's John."

"John who?"

"John Tyler."

Realization dawns upon me. Jackie's kid! How could I forget? Well, actually, I could. But no matter.

Wait. _Jackie's_ kid? Telepathic?

"Rose…" I begin. She glances over at me, eyes inquiring.

"When you said that it wasn't you-" I motion around me- "and it was this _John, _did Torchwood get their hands on him or something?"

A flicker of a smile crosses her face. "No," she says "he was born that way. Didn't know, that he was, y'know, telepathic, until about 3 weeks ago."

Born. Jackie isn't telepathic. Neither is Pete, unless…

The truth hits me like a ton of bricks. No way. _No_ way. _No way_.

"_Ours?_"

She doesn't meet my eyes. I mentally slap myself for being so blind. Born. Born telepathic. Born to Rose Tyler. Born to me. Born to a father who's never been there for it. Born to a father whom it doesn't even know.

"God Rose…I'm sorry. I am so sorry." I mean it, too.

I'm crying. Crying for the kid that will never know me, the kid who I've shunned these past 3 weeks. The kid who didn't exist to me until about ten seconds ago.

I'll never know him. Never watch him lose his first tooth; never watch him receive an award. I'll never be there for any of his birthdays, nor will I be able to comfort him when he gets picked on by other kids.

He'll never be able to say he has a father, let alone a father to be proud of.

I'll never be able to see him. Not even once. For once in my entire life, I feel completely and utterly useless. Feeble. Pitiful. And I call myself a Time Lord, able to do whatever I want, and the thing I _do _want- it's out of my reach.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

My voice is quiet, hoarse. I'm not really expecting an answer, its rhetorical; but Rose answers anyway.

"Wouldn't really be fair on you, 'cause we only had about two minutes to talk. I wasn't 'bout to spring that on you."

"So instead you tell me it's Jackie's."

A bitter smile crosses her face. "Was easier than saying I was pregnant with your kid."

"Suppose."

Silence falls over us again. She's snuggled up to me, finger playing with my hair. I can't help but lean into her touch. She laughs softly, probably at some inside joke I've forgotten. It doesn't matter. I'm with her, she's with me. No Daleks or Cybermen to tear us apart. We're safe.

Curiosity gets the better of me. "What does he look like?"

Rose smiles. "Mini version of you, though his eyes aren't as dark as yours."

Huh. I did think his irises were a little light to be mine.

"Must've been hard to look at." I cringe inside at my tactlessness, but Rose doesn't see to mind.

"Yeah…it was hard. But I got over it. At least that way I wouldn't forget you."

She looks up and sees my confused face.

"What I mean Doctor, is that he's practically you…personality and looks."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

I pause before asking questions again. "Genetically?"

"We haven't tried regeneration. In the case that he doesn't survive…"

I smile sadly. "Not up for risks, are you?"

She laughs. "No. He's meant to be only three, but he looks and acts like an eight-year old." She glances up at me. "Weird Time Lord Genes messing with him?"

I consider this for a moment. "Does he have two hearts?"

"Yeah."

"Possibly, then. Wouldn't exactly be sure, to be honest. There's never been a Time Lord-Human crossbreed before. Not from the start, anyway. Humans can become imbued with Time Lord Knowledge, but after a while, it'll start to melt their brain. Not nice."

"His brain won't melt, will it?" Rose's tone is light, but I sense the worry lurking behind it. I mentally kick myself for making her worry over nothing. Silly, stupid, screw-everything-up Doctor. I honestly don't know how she puts up with my tactless comments.

"No, Rose. His genetics are born into his system. Transferring Time Lord Knowledge only imprints it upon yourself. Not embed. And he's meant to be three? If his brain _were-_" I heavily emphasis the _were- "_to melt, it would've happened by now. He's safe."

She lets out a sigh of relief, before sitting up and bringing my head to rest in her lap. She begins to run her fingers through my hair again, and I can't stop the sigh of content that passes through my lips.

**: : : : :  
**

I don't know how much time has passed, but suddenly there is a weight upon my stomach, and I hear Rose laughing softly.

"Wake up! Wake up! _Muuum_, Daddy won't wake up! Is he dead?"

"Dunno." Rose's voice is laced with amusement. "Perhaps you'd better check, then."

"'Kay."

The weight is suddenly gone, but I don't dare open my eyes. He does it for me anyway.

Peeling back my left eyelid, he stares into my iris. I stare at some random point in this dimension, not meeting his brown eyes. The pressure stays there for awhile, and then he lets my eyelid revert back to it's original position. He's talking to Rose, and I strain to hear what he's saying.

"…He's dead." His voice is sad, quiet. Did my charade actually fool him?

"Really?" Rose plays along with him, trying and failing to keep a smile off her face, while I creep behind him. "I think you better go and make su-"

I pick him up from behind; he shrieks with happiness and tries to turn his body around to face me. Doesn't work though, and I topple to the ground, with him on top. He's got a smile wider than the Cornin System on his face, and I smile back at him. Rose is right- he _does_ look like me. It's a little disconcerting, actually.

"You didn't like me before." He states, sitting on my stomach.

"Didn't know who you were before."

"You're silly, then."

"Guess I am."

Rose comes over and lifts him off my stomach. My diaphragm is going to be crushed if I don't be careful.

He smiles at me. "You're Daddy," he says.

I smile back. "You're John."

* * *

Epicness. So, that's the end of 'So Tonight That I Might See'. I feel sad, I really enjoyed writing this, and I'm going to miss writing about freakish-stalker-I'm-telepathic-guy xD. In this story, anyway.

I'll be doing more Doctor Who fics (OMGYAY) based around this story, so you'll be seeing more of John. You do like him, right?

Thanks to all who put this story on their alerts, favourites- it makes me insanely happy. I like being insanely happy.

This chapter is dedicated to _BlackSparrow106; Kitty Bridgeta; Colour Me Stunned; Majnoona; Soreye; T'Be; Laura Harkness; Hi; Prone To Obsession; Laura; Gaiafreedom21; Shell; and Bad Wolf Jr_. Your reviews gave me the courage I needed to continue this story, and without you, I wouldn't be as confident with my writing as I am today. You guys (especially) are awesome. Free Doctor Who merchandise to you all.

Any reviews are greatly accepted. I'd love to know what you thought on this last chapter.

-Arrow Millenium


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